Resilience Isn’t Always a Good Thing.

My experience over the years in both work and business has been full of ups and downs – with quite a lot of downs, to be honest. But through this, I have learnt a lot along the way, and now I try to share some of my learnings with others.

I do this at in-person events, through my book, 'Sales Before Marketing', and also through posts and newsletters. Following up on a previous piece where I shared a few other lessons, today I want to share three more key things I have learnt about mindset, failure, and health.

Why It Is Perfectly OK To Fail

We are continually told to be resilient. "Get up and carry on" is one of the things that entrepreneurs, small business owners, and senior-level employees are often encouraged to do.

But my experience has shown me that if you are over-resilient – i.e., too resilient – it can backfire. I believe this is because if you hold onto too much inside without letting go, and you continually pick yourself up without having any support, it can have a negative impact on mental health and wellbeing.

I was over-resilient for way too many years. I was always just brushing things off, getting up, and carrying on without ever talking about my challenges or failures with anyone supportive. Sadly, the result of this type of resilience was not good. It is one of the things I think led to a period of burnout for me. So now, I share my failures as well as my wins – as for me, talking about things helps.

When I found out recently that I had failed to move past the shortlist for something I really wanted to succeed at, I was incredibly disappointed. But instead of storing that disappointment up, putting on a brave face, and just carrying on like I would have done in the past, I spoke about my disappointment.

I politely shared my disappointment and frustration with the decision-makers, and I received a supportive response from them. I did not hide the fact from others that I had failed either; instead, I shared the news with my family and my network, and I will share it with my business coach too. Personally, I am convinced that talking about our failures is a healthier thing to do than letting them build up inside without a release. It certainly is for me, anyway.

Prioritising Daily Wellbeing for Resilient People

Many people who know me will know that I am passionate about raising awareness of both mental health and neurodiversity due to lived experience.

In 2015, I suffered from a period of burnout and breakdown, which I think was impacted by both over-resilience and neurodiversity, and this inspired me to want to spread the word about how important our mental health is. Resilient people, like business owners, should deeply value their wellbeing, as carrying a heavy load constantly takes a toll.

I try to share my views about the fact that we all have mental health, and any of us could suffer from a period of poor mental health at any time. I believe it is vital for us all to look after our mental and emotional wellbeing, and I actively encourage people to do this.

Running a small business and/or working very hard at a job can be incredibly stressful. Resilient people can become over-resilient, which can become highly problematic – so taking care of yourself is paramount. Taking sufficient time out and making time for things that you enjoy are both crucial things to do.

As I say in my book, different things help different people look after their wellbeing, but for me, creativity and nature are two things I find incredibly beneficial. I know that these two things help many other people too, so they are areas I would love to see gain more awareness and funding so they can be incorporated more readily into business and work life.

Recognising That Small Steps Lead to Big Strides

We all fail at things – some of us more often than others – but regardless of how often we fail, I think it is so important to take note of all the small steps you take along the way. Small steps really do lead to big strides.

Every small step you take may not result in immediate success, but it will be a step in the right direction, and over time all those steps will add up to become bigger strides. It is important to remember when you fail that you will still have made several small steps up to the point of failing. So perhaps don’t look at it as a failure, but instead just part of your path to success.

I think the key to success is to have a strategy for the direction that you want to be heading and to keep on making the small steps. Enough steps, and you will get there. Also, if you can develop this strategy so you enjoy the journey along the way by aligning it with your passions and values, then all the better.

Insights and Next Steps

These are just three of the things I have learnt along the way. You can find more tips and insights from me that relate to sales, marketing, small business life, and the mindset relating to these things in my book, 'Sales Before Marketing'.

To find out about the services I offer via Brand Planning that could help you in the areas mentioned in this article such as networking skills workshops or consultancy - then send us an enquiry.